It was few days after Christmas. Facebook chat head popped out. She was surprised why he was asking how she was doing. They met once and had few chats because they belonged to the same youth organization. However, he showed up in the meetings once. It was a while ago. After few exchanged messages, he was asking her out to drink tea or coffee. It was the time when Margareth checked his account. She was certain that he had a girlfriend, but now… All the evidence about her existence were gone from his timeline. She said yes, and took it as Christmas miracle. She was going on a date. After a long time, she might fall in love. Margareth loved the idea of love.
Have you ever felt that you are wasting your life on social networks? Of course, you did. We all are more or less addicted to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or even LinkedIn.
For a while, I was trying to cope Internet addiction. But it’s not easy with all those apps on the smartphone. However, I started with turning off app notifications. Once in a while, I turn off notifications for Messenger too just to make sure that no one will disturb me.
However, I found myself frequently unlocking my phone to check if there’s something new on the polished Internet life. Why? I have no clue. Addictions are complicated.
Mid-twenties are a strange age, or let me say, a strange place to be. On the one hand, you want still be a teenager who only has fun, but on the other, you want to be a grown-up who has his/her life put together.
Which path should you choose?
I truly believe that there are two types of people in the gym world. The ones who use the gym shower, and the ones who feel like it’s an exhibitionist’s show off and prefer cleaning their sweaty bodies in their beloved and private bathrooms at home. Indeed, I am one of those people who put their regular clothes in the backpack and rushes through the door wearing with the sportswear. Not so long ago one human told me that it’s a horrible habit (but not as horrible as putting on your regular clothes without taking a shower first), and I should take a shower in the gym. But I need to bring with me slippers, shower gel, shampoo, body lotion, towel, etc. It’s so much stuff to carry on! Besides, I have to show my naked butt to the strange girls and women. Nope. I am not doing that.
During the major spring cleaning, I sat down on the floor. Piles of clothes were laying around me, and I started wondering about each of the items. It was not about making a hard decision what to throw away and what to keep. I was thinking about the little chaos that was going on in my wardrobe for many years. This mess was a perfect reflection of my life. Our looks represent our personalities and situation of life. Consciously or unconsciously we express ourselves to word through the piece of clothing we wear. Patterns, textures, and colours – everything tells the world what is going on in our heads and hearts. Nevertheless, Neiman Marcus once said that women who wear black lead the most colourful lives; they might also be wearing black as a safety blanket in order to become invisible in the greyish streets of the city. I always melt when I see an amazing little black dress, and I always look for an occasion to rock that classy LBD look lead by red manicure and lipstick. The splash of colour always cheered me up. However, due to some self-esteem issues, several years ago I decided to go for the normal adult colour scheme and completely forgot my colours of life. Fortunately, I started to brighten up my world again since I got the green leather jacket.
She loved that oversized shirt which was always covered in paint. Well, it wasn’t oversized. She was a little girl, and it was her mother’s old shirt. Everyone in art school had some kind of weird clothing, and no one was bothered by it. It seemed everyone was satisfied with each drop of gouache on their parents’ old clothes. Probably, kids would have been more careful if their ‘good’ clothes were not covered and saved from the possible damage. Maybe it was a part of the teaching process. Maybe kids were taught not to be afraid of disasters that might happen during the creative process. One drop of red painting on jeans might trigger the hurricane called ‘mother.’ Besides, it was always cold in the art school. The thick walls of the art school did not let even the brightest ray of sunshine to enter the building and make it more pleasant for young creative souls. Though, another layer of clothing helped not to freeze as well.
On Sundays, some people have breakfast in the afternoon. Maybe a significant other brought a mug of hot coffee to bed and turned on TV to watch a National Geography to look for inspiration for summer destinations. Maybe someone had problems with getting up because of too many margaritas, mojitos or tequila shots on Saturday night, and only meowing cat forced to leave a cozy bed and give some food to a furry friend. Maybe an interesting book feeds more than pancakes with strawberry jam, and a stomach starts asking for something to eat only when the last page of the book is turned over. But some of us, for instance, me, gets up early on Sunday morning, drinks her coffee and thinks about all these things that happened this year. Can you believe that April comes to an end? I cannot, but I learnt a lot.
She always had a desire to wonder. To find places and spend hours in nature playing chess and other board games, badminton or learning to swim in the pretty cold water. She enjoyed that silence of nature, the music played by grasshoppers and the sound of wind playing in the tree tops. Margareth. Let’s call her Margareth to make this story smoother. Names always allow getting a better image of the character. Her light curly hair was always messy after a day spent near the lake or after hours of wandering in the forest. In the evening she was tired, but her blue eyes were sparkling. Before falling asleep, she was dreaming about new adventures after a week or two. She enjoyed these day trips a lot. Margareth always waited for a call from her dad who promised to take her somewhere nice. She always waited for him. Sometimes he didn’t show up. Her mother used these situations to her advantage and always said something negative about him. Margareth’s parents got divorced when she was a little. She was supposed nothing to hear, see or understood, but she remembers how he said before closing the door “I will come back.” It never happened.
It’s strange how desperate craving for life might appear during the darkest mornings and quietest nights. You may find yourself crying on the bathroom floor and counting the years how long have you been participating this activity. The fear that years might turn into decades might get you goosebumps. Then you feel tired. Tired of all these years. You may feel the desperate need to stop it, or at least find another bathroom floor. It has to stop. You have to end it.
How many times have you thought about unfriending people on Facebook? Don’t lie to yourself and me. We all been there, we all had these thoughts, and some of us actually did it. Social media specialists, psychologists, sociologists and other researchers analysed this unfriending phenomenon and gave interesting results. According to the studies from the University of Colorado Denver, we mostly tend to unfriend high-school friends, a friend of a friend, work friends, and common interest friends. The two main reasons why we remove people from our online lives are related to political and religious arguments, opposite opinions or harsh arguments. I was quite surprised seeing these results because I expected something else; something more personal. However, just like any other sociological research, this one also has a result called ‘other.’ It seems we unfriend other people for other reasons. I have an idea who others are based on my personal thoughts, reasons, and experience of decreasing my online community.