To build a home by Cinematic Orchestra has been following me for years. The song brings nostalgic feelings and gives a little bit of naïve hope that someday we will build a home. For you, for me. However, when I sent him a link to listen to it, he said that it was one of the saddest songs he had ever heard. Indeed. But I managed to find beauty in sadness. What else has left for a dreamer who wanted to build a home?
It’s quite ironic, but the first night I slept in my new apartment, I had a dream about him. Why you? Why tonight? A human mind can play tricks even when we sleep.
I knew that after holidays, I had to come back to my old life. The one I left years ago. There were too many failures, painful mistakes and things that simply went wrong. The thought of coming back was scary. I was nervous, anxious and unable to find inner peace. But here I am now. It’s been a month since I am back. I am good so far. I am trying to figure out if it was my life back then or it has just changed. Maybe, I started looking at some parts of my life differently. Maybe, I can admit that something has changed in my life and I learn my lessons. Finally.
I was leaning on the rock. It was pretty cold. However, it was relieving to feel something cold and strong behind my back. After a couple of minutes, it was still hard to breathe, and my heart seemed to jump off the chest. I was telling myself to breath deeper. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. However, after a couple of minutes and seeing the path that leads further, I just felt how my knees started shaking and bending. I barely heard and saw what’s going around me. I just knew that panic attack was coming up too fast and I wouldn’t be able to control it any longer. I had to run away to the safer place.
When the grasshoppers become loud in the evenings even in the city, I realised that summer is coming to an end. It’s August. The last month of summer was always nostalgic for me. The warm wind and intense orange shades of sunset forces to stop for a moment or two and appreciate everything that is around.
Pop culture, as well as regular culture, is not my thing. Sometimes I wonder what my thing is, but that’s an existential question I do not want to think about right now. However, for some mysterious reason, I started watching ‘Keeping up with the Kardashian’s’ and…
We live in the era of distractions. Thanks to social media and the enormous amount of interesting, useful and entertaining content out here, we find difficulties in focusing on daily responsibilities. However, it’s not the only problem. Once in a while we can spend few hours offline and participate in real life.
It was few days after Christmas. Facebook chat head popped out. She was surprised why he was asking how she was doing. They met once and had few chats because they belonged to the same youth organization. However, he showed up in the meetings once. It was a while ago. After few exchanged messages, he was asking her out to drink tea or coffee. It was the time when Margareth checked his account. She was certain that he had a girlfriend, but now… All the evidence about her existence were gone from his timeline. She said yes, and took it as Christmas miracle. She was going on a date. After a long time, she might fall in love. Margareth loved the idea of love.
Have you ever felt that you are wasting your life on social networks? Of course, you did. We all are more or less addicted to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or even LinkedIn.
For a while, I was trying to cope Internet addiction. But it’s not easy with all those apps on the smartphone. However, I started with turning off app notifications. Once in a while, I turn off notifications for Messenger too just to make sure that no one will disturb me.
However, I found myself frequently unlocking my phone to check if there’s something new on the polished Internet life. Why? I have no clue. Addictions are complicated.
Mid-twenties are a strange age, or let me say, a strange place to be. On the one hand, you want still be a teenager who only has fun, but on the other, you want to be a grown-up who has his/her life put together.
I truly believe that there are two types of people in the gym world. The ones who use the gym shower, and the ones who feel like it’s an exhibitionist’s show off and prefer cleaning their sweaty bodies in their beloved and private bathrooms at home. Indeed, I am one of those people who put their regular clothes in the backpack and rushes through the door wearing with the sportswear. Not so long ago one human told me that it’s a horrible habit (but not as horrible as putting on your regular clothes without taking a shower first), and I should take a shower in the gym. But I need to bring with me slippers, shower gel, shampoo, body lotion, towel, etc. It’s so much stuff to carry on! Besides, I have to show my naked butt to the strange girls and women. Nope. I am not doing that.